Now. Working as a journalist means you sometimes get to meet famous people. An editor will call you and say, "Hey, aren't you a Kate Winslet fan? Do you want to go to New York and hang out in her hotel room?" This is pretty great. This is pretty great exactly until is is pretty awful, via a process I call the Staggering Pyramid of Self-Loathing.
LAW: The Staggering Pyramid of Self-Loathing occurs when one interviews or is interviewed by any celebrity. Always.
This is what the thought process looks like:
1) I am going to meet Diane Rehm. I am not worthy of Diane Rehm. I'm really going to bung this up.
2) Now that I'm in Diane Rehm's studio, I need to make the best of this situation, because people are watching who will notice if I try to jump out of the window, so it will be okay.
3) This interview is going well. Diane is loving this wisdom I am throwing at her. Look at her nodding at me. Look at me making her laugh. We're probably going to go have drinks after this. I'm probably going to ask her where she got that suit. I never realized how funny I am until just this moment. Good God, I am amazing.
4) I am listening to the recording after the show. Where did my funny words go? What am I talking about? Why did I think that sentence was acceptable to utter to another human being? Diane's laugh is so filled with pity. I was a pity guest. A three-legged dog pity guest.
5) I can never listen to Diane Rehm again, for when I do, I will only be reminded of the shame I brought not only upon myself, but upon all of my ancestors.
Thus ends the Staggering Pyramid of Self-Loathing.
All of which is a long way to say: I appeared on The Diane Rehm Show yesterday. I can't bear to listen to the link. But if you'd like to, it's here.